Stay-at-home dad Dan Franch invents a new weather term to sum up Luxembourg’s gray and rainy weather – “grayn”.

It’s been a peculiar turn of years, the new one beginning as gray and rainy as the old one ended. The sky has been the color of an oyster shell, regularly leaking rain from a colander of soggy Buckwheat Noodles. It’s neither appetizing nor uplifting. Thus, I’m proposing we introduce a new word into the Luxembourg lexicon – “grayn”; a portmanteau — gray and rain.

Some derivations: “It sure grayned a lot yesterday.” Maybe a phrase to the tune of Supertramp; “It’s grayning again.” Or something slightly antiquated; “My, what a grayny day, grandma.”

With so much grayn in our lives, why not just rename the country — The Graynd Duchy.

Some might scoff and say I am engaging in a bit of hyperbolic frivolity. Statistics speak otherwise. A recent newspaper snippet assured me that I am not exaggerating. Luxembourg’s been stewing in mushroom soup for quite some time.

Overall, last year was sunnier and warmer. However, there was also more rain. The reported 179 days eclipsed the past 30 year median by three days. That averages out to rain every other day. December went way beyond that stat. There were 26 wet ones out of 31. Only Noah would have wanted more. Alas, since rain tends to go hand in hand with gray skies, there was a lot of grayn last year.

Gloomily, 25 days into the new year, little has changed. Sure, there was some snow last week, offering Luxembourg’s denizens a wisp of a white winter. But it’s since been plowed into a grayish heap on the roadside. The sun, too, had a bit of a cameo yesterday. Don’t be fooled; that was like a cracked egg that’s fallen onto a dirty floor. It was quickly wiped away.

Coming from the Midwest, I’m more accustomed to weather that fluctuates: Hot, cold, sun, rain, sleet, snow, gusting wind, tornadoes. Once, a European friend visiting in April was treated to a relaxing day on the beach one day and to snow the next. That change, that variety keeps us on our toes. It keeps our hopes up, too.

Such variety is non-existent here in The Graynd Duchy, where there’s nothing at all grand about the weather. For quite some time, a porridge sky has lingered overhead interminably. With grayn in the forecast through Wednesday, this steady diet of gruel has turned into a daily bowl of “Blah”.